Blogmas: I ran another marathon

I haven’t quit on blogmas just yet, I’ve simply been busy running another marathon.

The first time I ran a marathon I wrote a blog about it, specifically focused on how upon finishing, I felt nothing. Well, I felt something, just not what I thought I would feel. You can read more about that another time (or now, click here).

This time around, I ran a marathon and something changed. This time I feel more powerful.

If you have ever completed a marathon, you know that’s not usually the first feeling associated with it. It’s usually more along the lines of exhaustion, pain and a 50/50 toss up between hunger or nausea.

While that held true this time as well, it was also accompanied by feeling a feeling of optimism– once the nausea passed. 

This positive feeling was a new association and unfortunately my mind immediately turned negative. I experienced plenty of self doubt: Did I not run fast enough? Should I have pushed myself harder? Maybe I could have if I wasn’t such a slacker during training! 

But the truth is, I pushed myself incredibly hard. So hard that I achieved the goal I set out for with a minute to spare (or a couple minutes and change if you’re looking at my watch time).

During this training block a lot of the runs felt hard. From the slowest easy runs to the longest double-digit runs, my body consistently felt tired by mile eight.

But not during the race. For some reason during the race I felt… strong? I don’t know why it feels so hard to admit, maybe it seems cocky? But I think that’s what it was. I felt strong.

It’s not that the race was easy, 26.2 could never be. I just felt confident in my pace, in my cadence, in reaching the end. I never felt the need to walk. When the miles got hard (I’m looking at you 23-26) my body just slowed, but it didn’t stop.

A lot of this I’m sure has to do with fueling. Jakob’s really been pushing me to up my carb. intake. It probably would have paid off if I hadn’t stopped consuming them at mile sixteen (oops).

While I have a ways to go with fueling and speed, strength training and mentality, I feel really good about that room for growth.

I’m optimistic, scared and excited.

Before this race had even started, while Jakob and I waited in line for the porta potties every participant was collectively emptying their nerves into, I overheard plenty of runners discussing their goal finishing time. I pointed out to Jakob that most other runners planned to finish at least 20 minutes faster than us.

He thought about it for a moment and then replied, “Maybe we’re too realistic with our goals.”

I felt offended before I realized he wasn’t intending to be negative, just pragmatic. Frankly, we are pretty realistic. We pushed ourselves hard, but maybe we did shoot just below the stars?

Or maybe I should shut up and just be happy about my (our) new personal best.

I just know the job’s not done yet. It’s just getting started— after a nap! And the holidays!