Blogmas: I ran another marathon

No, I haven’t forgotten about my blogmas just yet. I’ve simply been busy running another marathon.

The first time I ran a marathon I wrote a blog about it, specifically focused on how upon finishing, I felt nothing. Well, I felt something, just not what I thought I would feel. You can read more about that another time (or now, click here).

But this time around, I ran a marathon and something changed.

This time I can tell I’ve grown as an athlete, as a runner.

I feel more powerful. And if you’ve ever completed a marathon, or really any challenging athletic feat, you know that’s not usually the first feeling associated with it. It’s usually more along the lines of exhaustion, pain and hunger.

While that held true this time as well, it was also accompanied by feeling powerful and even optimistic.

Because these positive feelings were a new association, my mind immediately turned negative. I experienced thoughts like: Did I not run fast enough? Should I have pushed myself harder? Maybe I could have if I wasn’t such a slacker during training! And so on.

But the truth is, I pushed myself incredibly hard— so hard that I achieved the goal I set out for, and with a minute to spare (or a couple minutes and change if you’re looking at my watch time).

During this block a lot of the runs felt hard. From the slowest easy runs to the longest double-digit runs, my body consistently felt tired by mile eight.

But not during the race. For some reason during the race I felt… strong? I don’t know why it feels so hard to admit, maybe it seems cocky? But I think that’s what it was. I felt strong.

It’s not that the race was easy by any means. I just felt confident it my pace, in my cadence and in reaching the end. I never felt the need to walk. When the miles got hard (I’m looking at you 23-26) my body just slowed, but it didn’t stop.

A lot of this I’m sure has to do with fueling. Jakob’s really been pushing me to up my gel (carb.) intake. And it definitely would have paid off if I hadn’t stopped consuming them at mile sixteen (oops).

I have a ways to go with fueling and speed, strength training and mentality. But I feel really good about that room for growth, which is something I haven’t felt from a race really, ever.

I’m optimistic, scared and excited.

Before the race had even started, while Jakob and I waited in line for the porta potties every participant was collectively emptying their nerves into, I overheard plenty of runners discussing their goal finishing time. I pointed out to Jakob that most other runners planned to finish at least 20 minutes faster than us.

He thought about it for a moment and then replied, “Maybe we’re too realistic with our goals.”

I felt offended before I realized he wasn’t intending to be negative, just pragmatic.

Frankly, we are pretty realistic. We pushed ourselves hard, but maybe we did shoot just below the stars. Or maybe I should shut up and just be happy about my (our) new personal best.

I just know the job’s not done, yet. It’s just getting started, but after a nap! And the holidays!